MAY 05, 2026
The journey we have to face alone
Friends (1994 – 2004)
We’re lost and confused most of the time and, more importantly, scared of the future that awaits us. That’s what reaching your 20s feels like: a journey of trying to understand what you want and what you’re meant to experience.
When we’re kids, becoming an adult is all we can think about. Being in control of our own lives, leaving our parents’ house, getting a good job, and earning our own money. As children, we tend to believe that by the time we’re 20, everything will be figured out: that we’ll be independent and certain about our future.
Reality, however, is very different.
The truth is, we don’t leave our parents’ house that early, and we don’t earn enough to fully build our own lives.
And most of all, it feels like we have to face this journey alone.
Priscilla and Elvis Presley on their wedding day / creator unknown
Whether the pressure comes from ourselves or from our parents, we feel the need to figure everything out in our 20s. We feel like we need to decide who we are and find a job that will define the rest of our lives.
Asking for help feels like weakness, and being uncertain feels like failure. That’s the kind of pressure we deal with at this age: the idea that we must figure everything out — who we are, what we want, and who we will be for the rest of our lives.
But there’s no such thing as holding someone’s hand through all of these decisions. In many ways, you have to go through it alone.
And as if that wasn’t enough, women face an additional pressure: finding a partner.
I know, we’re no longer in the 1960s, and getting married before thirty is not an obligation. But why does it still feel like it is?
When you’re not in a serious relationship by your mid-20s, people start to question it. Some even assume something is wrong. We still judge women who choose to be alone, as if prioritizing a career over a relationship were something to be ashamed of.
And yet, we still search for someone — even when we know it might not work.
All of these expectations, all of these questions, make this phase of life feel even lonelier.
Friends (1994 – 2004)
The bottom line is, even when you feel lost or unsure, there is no rush to have everything figured out.
The pressure may never fully disappear, but it’s important to follow your instincts and allow yourself to explore. Your 20s are not about having all the answers, they’re about experiencing life, even if you don’t know exactly where you’re going.
A perfect example of this can be seen in Friends. In the first season, all of them are around 25 — and completely lost.
Throughout the series, they go through constant changes: in their careers, in their relationships, and in themselves. Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe date different men, make mistakes, and take time to figure out what they really want.
None of them get it right on the first try. Their careers change, they fail, they start over — and that’s part of the process.
In many ways, they only begin to feel like “adults” much later, closer to their 30s.
So… what’s the rush?
In the end, everyone goes through their 20s without having all the answers. The most important thing is to keep going — even when you feel like you’re falling behind.
Stylus.co 